Gas Station Charcuterie Plate: You Suck At Cooking – You Suck At Cooking

My View:This book is hilarious and useful 🙂  And possibly will solve your search for “what to get the person who has everything” for Christmas. Check out the authors  Youtube cooking show here:

 

Description:

Do you crave food all the time? Do you think you might want to eat again in the future? Do you suck at cooking? Inspired by the wildly popular YouTube channel, these 60+ recipes will help you suck slightly less

You already know the creator of the YouTube show You Suck at Cooking by his well-manicured hands and mysterious voice, and now you’ll know him for this equally well-manicured and mysterious tome. It contains more than sixty recipes for beginner cooks and noobs alike, in addition to hundreds of paragraphs and sentences, as well as photos and drawings.

You’ll learn to cook with unintimidating ingredients in dishes like Broccoli Cheddar Quiche Cupcake Muffin-Type Things, Eddie’s Roasted Red Pepper Dip (while also learning all about Eddie’s sad, sad life), Jalapeno Chicken, and also other stuff. In addition, there are cooking tips that can be applied not only to the very recipes in this book, but also to recipes outside of this book, and to all other areas of your life (with mixed results).

In the end, you just might suck slightly less at cooking.*

*Results not guaranteed

Extract from You Suck at Cooking, photography by Andrew Thomas Lee,
published by Ebury Australia on 19 November 2019, RRP $29.99

 

GAS STATION CHARCUTERIE PLATE p.88

SERVES HOWEVER MANY PEOPLE ARE COMING OVER
Washer fluid
Gasoline of your choice
Pepperoni sticks
Almonds
Beef jerky
Cheese
Roasted almonds
Salted pistachios
Honey-roasted peanuts
Barbecue peanuts
Pumpkin seeds
Sunflower seeds
Dark chocolate
Any other interesting snacks
you can find at a gas station
1  Pop the hood of your car and locate translucent white tank with a water symbol
cap and close the hood.

2  Fill your gas tank with gas.

3 Go inside the store with actual money like it’s the old fashioned days. Locate any interesting snacks and purchase
them, and don’t forget to pay for,go home and wash the gasoline off your hands.

4  Cut the pepperoni sticks into bite-sized pieces. Cut them on an angle if you’re feeling extra fancy.

5 Arrange all the snacks on a plate, platter, or serving board in a way that makes sense, such as grouping nuts and meats together, or putting nuts and meats as far away as possible from each other. Serve, and never tell your date where the snacks came from.

*The Gas Station Charcuterie Plate is possible because we live in the golden age of mobile snacking. It is also bound to be a hit because of the human tendency to equate variety with quality. Which is not to say the foods at gas stations are of low quality. It’s just easy to take for granted the fact that you can get food, on a whim, at any time of the day or night, at these lonely fossil fuel outposts. In the future, a mobile rest stop subscription service will pull up beside you while you’re driving, refuel your car, give you snacks, and let you use the restroom, all at 105
kilometres per hour. And the fuel will be laser beams.

 

What Are You Reading?

2015 Margaret River Readers and Writers Festival

Sami Shah comedian and author will be participating in the Margaret River Readers and Writers Festival at the end of the month. In Sami’s debut book I, Migrant A Comedians Journey From Karachi to the Outback (Allen & Unwin) (p.94) Sami remarks ” You can tell everything about a person by the books they read.” What are you currently reading?

Book cover I Imigrant Sami Shah

Post Script: Terms and Conditions – Robert Glancy

Terms & Conditions, Robert Glancy

 

Terms & Conditions

Robert Glancy

Bloomsbury Publishing plc

ISBN: 9781408852217

 

Description:

Frank has been in a car accident*. The doctor tells him he lost his spleen, but Frank believes he has lost more. He is missing memories – of those around him, of the history they share and of how he came to be in the crash. All he remembers is that he is a lawyer who specialises in small print**.

 

In the wake of the accident Frank begins to piece together his former life – and his former self. But the picture that emerges, of his marriage, his family and the career he has devoted years to, is not necessarily a pretty one. Could it be that the terms and conditions by which Frank has been living are not entirely in his favour***?

 

In the process of unravelling the knots into which his life has been tied, he learns that the devil really does live in the detail and that it’s never too late to rewrite your own destiny.

 

*apparently quite a serious one

 

**words that no one ever reads

 

*** and perhaps never have been

 

 

My View:

Witty, clever, funny with a happy ending.**

 

I really enjoyed this quirky funny narrative – the writing was engaging, the settings and characters fully fledged and I really enjoyed the terms and conditions (self-talk) that featured on most pages. The protagonist, Frank, is bravely saying to the readers (and himself) what he cannot say out loud to whomever he happens to be conversing with. He is not brave, he is non-confrontational and he is starting to wise up to the manipulation he has been subjected to – and he doesn’t get angry (well only just a bit) he gets even; “The Terms and Conditions of Revenge: It’s best served cold (with a side serve of humiliation) (p.214) and this revenge is very well executed – it has me cheering in the background. I think there is a little bit of Frank in most people, and hopefully not too much of Oscar or Alice.

 

As I read this book I could see the action playing out in my head – like a stage play or maybe a tv series…

 

 

**Individual responses may vary.